#lifelessons101: Strengthening your relationship with money energetically and practically (4 min read)

This year I made the decision to change my relationship with money. In fact in March I wrote a life lesson 101 on how to invite financial abundance into your house and home in the spirit of this new relationship. A for a while this new relationship functioned beautifully. I fell in love with money as physical representation of abundance. I did my daily abundance practise. I created my abundance altar. And thanks to Lynne Twists wonderful book The Soul of Money I really got to grips with understanding scarcity and abundance mindsets. For a while there it was amazing and it seemed as though I had hit the utopic state of health, wealth and happiness.

Then as happens in every new relationship the honeymoon period was over. And eventually, as was potentially predictable; I fell into old habits. I allowed dramas to rule and without noticing it I had slipped back into the very habits that led me to wanting to change my habits and relationship with money in the first place. Ugh. Am I right back to square one? No, not really. I now have more of a flow with my money. I now understand money as an energy to be transferred and exchanged instead of my mortal enemy (as I had previously felt it was). However recently my spending habits have been running away with me and I now have a massive £500 debt I have no idea how to resolve. I can feel the edges of old fears and dramas about money trying to creep back into my mind. Luckily due to my resolution of creating a new relationship with money I am more conscious than ever before of this process and now it is time for me to reassess my relationship with money both energetically and practically.

So having identifying these current issues I am having with money I turned once again to my mentor for advice and he really came through (as he always does).  He simply explained that as within in any new relationship when the honeymoon phase is over you have to work out the new ground rules. It made so much sense. The guilt I had felt at “failing” by returning to my old habits and dramas just lifted from my shoulders. This is natural and normal and is not essentially anything to do with me messing up. Phew!  He also reminded me that in every failure is a teaching so look for the teaching.

This conversation was so powerful it has lead me to once again re look at my relationship with money and now I can see how to move forward and strengthen Thise relationship  by setting some new ground rules. Just as we do in any relationship. If you are here where I am now then here are 3 things I have come to realise about how to strengthen my relationship with money both energetically and practically.

Understand the drama

What is the drama that is being provoked right now? Within in every relationship when we have a fight we act unconsciously out of a pre learned pattern of behaviour or drama which we need to resolve, understand and accommodate.

I realised for example that right now I am acting out of my drama that says “Emma you are no good with numbers”, simultaneously it provoked my “ I don’t like to have my behaviour and desires limited” dramas.  Once recognised I could see that this subsequently led me  to work out of my fears. The one where I hate to do budgets because I “can’t make them work” and the fear of limiting my freedom that I unconsciously feel a budget and savings plan creates. Therefore I was operating on hand to mouth living again because I had got back into my scarcity mindset – WOW!

When you look at the dramas you are working from you get that realisation moment. The WOW that makes your behaviour suddenly understandable and which makes it a heck of alot easier to do something about (and this of course applies not only to finances but to everything in life.)

Look for the teaching

In learning to form a new habit, a new way of doing something the straying from the initial path and failing is actually a huge gift of learning. It says ‘hey I need to do something differently in order to have a harmonious relationship’. So look for the teaching of the situation and your dramas. What is it that you need to learn from this?

My teaching was simply that I need to get over my fear of numbers to be conscious of my abundance by keeping track of my finances. And I needed to understand that freedom is actually created financially by being conscious around my money as that would give me the freedom to make sensible abundance spending.

Apply the practical solution

Now understanding the energetical flow and the psychological impact of your relationship with money is seriously important however it is not the only root you need to strengthen this relationship. Practical action is essential in having an abundant relationship with money.  So what actions can you take to stay on top, preempt negative patterns of behavior and create healthy conscious habits which serve you and your relationship with money.

I found three definite actions I could take to create healthy habits:

  • I realised that I need a person to help me create a realistic budget, someone with objectivity.
  • I also realised that I found it challenging to keep track of my spending during a month and so I have downloaded an app to help me keep track and I am implementing a new habit of checking in with my finances once a week (both business and personal). These are going on different days of the week so I don’t feel overwhelmed by the numbers.
  • I need to forgive myself for failing instead of judging myself for it and believe that abundance is possible and that I can be abundant. (Which means returning to my abundance practise and mindset).

What pratical actions can you take to strengthen your relationship with money?

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As I said in March this journey my new relationship with money is not going to happen overnight or in two articles. However each step on the road is an enriching experience. When tackling a failure, as I have now, and learning from it failuer also reminds us not only how abundant we am but also how many resources we have in our lives.

I have a feeling that installing my new healthy habits will take longer than my initial honeymoon phase with money. However I feel confident that I have taken the steps to create a stronger foundation in this  relationship  which in time I will see blossom and amplify my beautiful abundant life.

I hope the teachings that have given me this confidence will also empower you…..

Happy weekend <3

 

A healthy relationshipdoesn't drag you downIt inspires you to be better.jpg

#lifelessons101 – Remember what you love to do in life and do it! (A little known ingredient of a successful life)

Sitting here very early on Mr T’s birthday drinking coffee with the cats, I can’t help thinking, wow I love my life! The past few days have been a whirl of cleaning, making food and preparing for the 32 friends and family who will be coming here to celebrate with us. I am exhausted (especially after waking up periodically through the night because I was too excited about giving Mr T his birthday presents!),  yet in my exhaustion I can say I am truly happy. I love doing this sort of thing, creating a big experience for lots of people, trying something new (we are going to do bow tag) and sharing good food with awesome people. It’s fun to create something like that, and it’s one of the things I love doing in my life.

And that got me thinking. How often do we think about the things we love to do in life? I mean we talk about it when it’s career related but what about the things we love to do purely for fun? I remember recently I had someone ask me what my interests are I listed a few, writing, harry potter, viking, belly dancing, drawing, gardening,making memories, tattooing as well as my pagan religion, and she looked at me surprised and said “well you have enough hobbies to keep you going full time!” And yes she is right. There are many things I know I love to do in life. And I am in the fortunate position right now where I can dedicate some time to those activities. What about you?

What do you love to do in life? Not just your hobbies, but the other little things, like taking a walk in the park in the autumn or sharing a cheesecake with your best friend. What is it that you love to do? And when did you last stop to ask yourself this question? I believe that these things that we love to do are some of the most important parts of life itself. Without them living would sure as heck be boring. I also believe that healthy people with healthy balanced lives make time to make doing things they love as important as doing all the things they have to do.

If you look at the world’s most successful business people right now they all have hobbies which they dedicate time to. Such as the CEO of Berkshire Hathaway Warran Buffet playing the ukulele, MArk Zukerberg hunting his own food or Meryl Streep’s knitting. Hobbies are ‘cross-training’ when you practise multiple things the benefits of your practice transfers to other areas of your life. Doing things you love gives you a feeling of success which also benefits every area of your life. So people being happy at our party and Mr T having a fantastic birthday will boost my confidence for the next few weeks. (This is not why I do it , it’s just a great bonus!)

So in order for you to make yourself feel great, no matter what is going on for you at the moment, you gotta remember what you love to do in life and make time to do it. It really is one of the simplest things you can do to improve your quality of life and is one we all have a tendency to overlook. Remember being happy is incredibly closely linked to success. So I want you to invest in your successful life by dedicating 10 minutes of your day to making yourself happy today.

First write a list of everything you love to do in life the big and the little things, try and find the ones you weren’t even aware of by probing your memory.

Then grab your diary and book sometime to do one of the bigger things you love to do in the next 14 days

Lastly choose something you love to do that you can do easily today in a short space of time and GO AND DO IT!

It really is that simple and will make your weekend and your life 10 times more wonderful!

Have a happy weekend!You do not finda happy life

 

Lifelessons101 – How to be a positive person in 6 easy steps

We all have that one person in our network. The complainer. The pessimist. The person you can spend 5 minutes around and feel stressed and worn out just by listening to them. There are people in this world who just live in the negative. I have one in my life and recently after a long conversation with them I felt like I was pulling my hair out due to wave after wave of negative stories. Honestly I felt like a washed out dishrag afterwards. And it got me wondering. Why is it that people find it so hard to be positive?

A few hours of google-fu later I found the answer. Apparently it’s a psychological phenomenon called negative bias. It’s a common human trait to fixate on the negative. It dates back to our stone age hunter gatherer days when we  had to constantly be vigilant for danger. Now that makes sense in a world full of predators, but it makes no sense as to why we still do it it today. We are now at the top of the food chain after all. Constant negativity today is harmful to ourselves and to the people round us. However luckily there is a way to override this genetic programming and choose a positive life much more suited and beneficial to our modern lives.

So here is my #101 guide on how to be a positive person, see if after a long week at the office you can implement some of these ideas into your life and see how much better your world can be.

Notice the good

Have you ever realised that it is easier to notice something bad than something good? For example; you might get a stream of compliments from a lover but one little less than perfect remark and that’s what you remember. (I know I have done this, Mr T is very good at pointing out when I do this). Try and notice the good things more. When you get a compliment notice it. Avidly focus on good things for 10 secs for example the sun is shining, you cats are playing. Notice the good and you will see more.

Turn the conversation around

When you can feel like you have been complaining in a conversation for a while or someone else has try and turn the conversation in a positive direction. Sometimes just asking someone if they have something they are looking forward to helps lift the mood. If in doubt try and pull a positive story from somewhere, even the last funny video on Facebook can be a great mood changer. I mean who doesn’t like cat videos right!

Choose your stimulus

What is it that you invest your time and energy on. Choosing where your stimulus and input comes from makes a huge difference in your outlook on life. 10 years ago I was watching the news and I realised how depressed and anxious it made me, the adverts inbetween tv shows bugged me and I decided to quit TV. I now haven’t had a television for 10 years and it is one of the best decisions I ever made. Of course we have Netflix and HBO and if there is something I hear about going on in the world I check it out online. The difference is I now choose what I watch and what I invite into my life. You can do this with your Facebook feed and un-follow negative feeds and yes you can do it with your social circle too. In fact that is probably one of the most important areas where you can choose your input. Surround yourself with positive people and your life will feel nicer. It’s not rocket science it’s just choice.

Slow down and enjoy your life

It’s easy to miss opportunities to be positive when you are rushing around like a headless chicken. In a fast paced world irritation runs rife. So slow down. Plan breaks and be mindful how you use and enjoy your time. Making enjoying your life the most important thing in your life will shift your focus from pessimistic to positive overnight. Don’t wait for your pension to slow down start savoring you life right now. (I mean it right now).

Sing and dance

Music has one of the most uplifting effects on our moods. If you are feeling low find a favorite tune, sing along and bop around in the kitchen. I used to find that listening to happy music on the way to work started my day so much better than just watching the other commuters on the platform. And I am pretty sure that I amused them when I forgot where I was due to the awesome music and danced a bit on the platform too!

Spread it around

Positivity breeds positivity. Think about it if you see someone smiling you smile too. Say hello to strangers, smile at the bus driver, compliment a colleague in the way they look. See if you can do at least five things to spread positivity each day. Making others feel happy makes you feel happy, it’s simply a win win situation.

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Of course there are many ways to be a positive person these are simply a few ideas to get you started. Adopting the attitude of gratitude is another powerful way to be positive which you can read about here. The most important part of being a positive person is choosing to be a positive person. You have to reprogram your genetics a little and take control. You want  positive life then you have to change your attitude to your life. However as you can see the smallest of change in your habits can and will turn you into a positive person. 

Have a happy weekend 🙂

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#lifelessons101 – Making memories

What is life without a little fun? I love adventure, new places and experiencing life. Just as I love these experiences I love looking back on them. Memories are important. Memories are things that you can treasure forever. You can share them with your family, friends, anyone you meet actually. Memories shape us, change us forever. If you make a memory with someone it becomes part of your shared life experience. It brings you closer together, and will last as long as you do. Personally I think memories are one of the most valuable gifts of life.

That’s why I advocate actively making memories at least once every month. The holidays are of course an easy time to make memories, but what about the rest of the year. Right now i imagine you are home from your holidays, Facebook full of your summer selfies. But in a month from now you will be in your everyday life and with the autumn coming hinting at the winter darkness you are going to need to boost your spirits and keep your motivation up. It’s time to make a memory!

Make a mini bucket list

A mini bucket list is a like the bigger version only is within the time limit of one year and something that takes only a day to do. On your list included all the fun things you would like to do in the coming year. Make it doable, within your budget and keep your focus on fun.

Plan your adventures

As soon as you have made your list set the date. Wherever possible spread the fun evenly through the year. Small pockets of fun to keep your spirits up and your inner Peter Pan happy. Plan each adventure before the date, invite someone to join you.

Take lots of pictures

While you are out making your memory take lots of pictures. I hate this stigma around taking selfies. Selfies are as much for yourself as to show the world what you are up to, as they are to remind you what you have been doing and where you’ve been. By taking pictures it is a way of celebrating the moment.

Seal the memory

This is my own particular slant on making memories. Experiencing stuff is one thing but remembering what you did and how you felt, that is the most important part of a memory. So when you get home seal the memory. Posting on Facebook is great because Facebook has the wonderful service of reminding you years after you have done something. I love to collect my memories. Ticket stubs, postcards, anything physical that reminds what I have been doing gets stored and at the end of the year scrap booked. Another way is to make a positive memory bank to store your memories in.

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People say that it is in the stories of our lives that we live on. Which to me means that a life rich in memories is a life that will be remembered. Happiness is part of life sometimes we are lucky enough for it to appear, however sometimes we have to create it.

Go out and make a wonderful memory this weekend after living life to the full means enjoying your journey!

 

What is in your Memory Bank Is far more important than what is in your Bank.jpg

 

 

#Lifelessons101 -A guide to sleeping for your success. You can sleep your way to the top! (2 min read)

It is amazing how many people sleep less and less the older we get. I mean why? Our bodies don’t need less sleep, in fact as we get older we get tireder quicker and we indeed need more sleep. In the 1980s it became de rigueur to show people how little we sleep. Sleep was overrated, a waste of time.  But if you want to see the idiocies of the sleepless just look at Donald Trump who proudly advocates having a few hours and night. It OBVIOUSLY hasn’t helped his intellect.

Luckily today, sleep is back in fashion. Entrepreneurs everywhere are making the time for their zsss. Sleep is now an indication of success. People at the top sleep. In fact when you are properly rested it is possible to sleep your way to the top. And no I don’t mean biblicaly. I mean with the energy from being properly rested, you have the energy to succeed. When we sleep our blood pressure drops, our muscles relax, tissues grows and repairs and energy is restored. What’s not to like?

But where to find the time? Well entrepreneurs are some of the busiest people in the world (and that’s if they are successful or not) how the heck do they do it? Prioritizing and time management. If it’s important you make the time. You are important so you owe it to yourself to take care of you so that you can succeed.

So to make sure reach the top here’s my tip top guide to sleeping your way to success!

Get the right amount of sleep for you

The National Sleep Foundation gives a recommendation for every age group but we all have our own optimal pattern. Mine is 8 hours any less and i feel exhausted and weepy after a couple of days. So figure out what the best amount of sleep is for you. Too little and you are still exhausted, too much and you feel clogged up.

Plan your sleep

Know when you are going to sleep. Plan your bedtimes, Just until you get into the habit of going to bed in good time for you. Plan your lay ins too. We all need them from time to time so give yourself the opportunity to indulge in your duvet. Get into a regular bed and wake up times it helps your body to be in a continuous rhythm.

Get into an  optimal sleep cycle

With sleep becoming fashionable there are many new sleep fads popping up. One of the theories that has been proven to work is using our optimal sleep cycle. A full sleep cycle lasts about 90 minutes and is normally repeated several times each night. Most of us need four or five cycles in a 24 hour period. So you need to work out how many sleep cycles you are going to get in a night. Work backwards from your wake up time and make sure you wake up at the end of a cycle. You can feel it if you wake up mid cycle, it’s feels a bit like being hungover.

Prepare yourself for sleep

Give yourself a proper wind down towards sleep. Get into a pre-sleep routine. Avoid caffeine and alcohol. Set an alarm 30 mins before bed and get off the computer, telephone or tablet. Find an activity to help you wind down, meditating, reading, drawing, mindfulness. If you head is full of thoughts write them out, on paper. Whatever allows your body to get into a chill zone. These days I make it a priority to not work after dinner in the evenings. It actually makes me more productive and I am much more relaxed.

Cat nap

Spain is known for its siesta. What a great concept. Getting a boost in the middle of the day does wonders for the body, mind and soul.However keeping in mind sleep cycles you should aim for a 40 min cat nap to not wake up feeling groggier than you did before hand.

Plan your day and get into a rhythm

The key to having enough time to sleep and be successful is down to daily planning and getting into a rhythm. When we are in a rhythm it frees us. We form habits and daily tasks become efficient. There are many ways of planning and time management strategies. Here is an article on planning so you can find the strategy that works for you.


Sleep is the best retreat we have.  Arianna Huffington says “By helping us keep the world in perspective, sleep gives us a chance to refocus on the essence of who we are. And in that place of connection, it is easier for the fears and concerns of the world to drop away.” Sleep is entirely a world of own and the one place where we can recharge no matter what. Make your sleep important, make entering that private world of yours important. The more you value yourself, the more you will succeed.

Enjoy your journey <3

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#lifelessons101- Let frustration be the catalyst for whimsy and brighten your day! (1 min read)

Whimsy. It’s such a lovely word isn’t it. It means playfully quaint or fanciful behavior or humor or acting on a whim. And in this serious world of self development I feel we have more of a need for whimsy, in both of it’s meanings.

It was comedian James Vetch who said “Let frustration be the catalyst for whimsy” and I think this is genius. Frustration is something we all feel at times, if you are very unlucky it can be everyday. But what would the world be like if we took those frustrating periods in our lives and turned them into something playfully quaint and fanciful. Wouldn’t that be much more fun.

And honestly it would be healthier too. After all conscious living is about being in touch with yourself and choosing you reaction. Choosing whimsy over stress will make you both happier and more positive in your everyday.

Here are a few ideas on how to bring more whimsy into your life – enjoy

Planning

Ok, I know this might sound strange however when we are frustrated it can be challenging to be inspired. So write a list of whimsy ideas, random things you can do to make the day more fun. It could be starting a balloon bouncing competition in the canteen at lunchtime, eating cake for breakfast, sending silly memes to those stupid spam emails. Whatever you can think of. Big projects, small action. Just remember to keep it playful and light.

Get the whimsy bible

As you know I am an avid pupil of comedian Miranda Hart who not only is an amazingly talented person but also was a long term sufferer of anxiety. For Comic relief she wrote a book call “Miranda’s daily doses of such fun” and this can be interpreted as the whimsy  bible. For every day of the year Miranda suggests silly and amusing activities that are easy to do and hilarious. Guaranteed to lift anyone’s mood. I rarely say this but BUY IT. It will be the best present you have given yourself this year.

Do a good deed

Pack the person behind you in the queue at the supermarkets bags, or give a homeless person lunch or send a bunch a flowers to your Mum. Spread a little cheer and you will feel more cheerful. Its easy and makes life nicer

Dance in the kitchen

If nothing else when you are at home crank up your favorite tunes and dance around the kitchen like a mad thing for 5 minutes. Guaranteed to have you giggling and smiling in under 10 seconds!

BE spontaneous and have fun!

It’s actually that simple!

If you need more inspiration then check out some of James Vetch’s Ted talks. He is a complete whimsy master and his videos have the added bonus of making you laugh until your sides split- Have a whimsy weekend!

Enjoy your journey!

Some days You just have to create your ownSunshine.jpg

#lifelessons101 What to do when when your past attacks your now (3 min read)

Recently I watch a short video on Facebook about the Syrian ballet dancer Ahmad Joudeh, it is immensely powerful and inspiring. However one thing he said struck me on such a personal level

“It’s annoying when you past is attacking your mind when you are trying to build a new life.”

I could completely relate to this. Can’t you. All of us who are into living conscious lives and manifesting our dreams know the destructive and demobilizing power of the fears of our past. The hit hard and swift and take us completely out of ourselves, the moment and the focus. I used to get this a lot. In fact it was so strong that I would find myself reacting in the now to past events. For example if Mr T and I were arguing (and yes we do) I would actually be reacting to and ex partner’s behavior not his. It was scary.

So how to break the chain and stop those past events or fears taking over? Well it is not an overnight process and it takes a form of being completely honest with yourself and with the people closest in your life. However it is possible. You can keep those fear dragons in the past where they cannot burn you.  

When the past comes knocking try these steps to send it on its way

Stop and breath

When you feel the fear or memory rising and reinforcing all of your negative thoughts then Stop! Breath. Don’t allow it to take over and start a negative spiral in your mind. Tell yourself this is from the past not from the now, This is not happening or true to who I am or where I am in my life right now.

Which drama is this?

A drama is a way of acting that has become an unconscious reaction and defense in certain situations, created from past events. Ask yourself what drama is this? Which drama is affecting my reactions right now? Mr T and I do this together and honestly from the minute we started our arguments have gone down to 10% of what they used to be, Now we discuss the emotions, the back story and then analyse the feelings in relation to the now events. It makes for a much more rational and cooperative communication and we both know each other so much better because of it. Of course if you are going to do this with someone you have to trust each other completely. There has to be an agreement that you will not use this information about each other against each other. It’s an important pact to get in place from the start. Looking and understanding your dramas is really therapeutic

Accept that your past is in your past

It’s over. Accept it. A healthy way to do this is to understand it. I can recommend both journaling and counselling here. Getting our emotions out of our body and sharing them with another person can give us objectivity. When you understand the root of something it is easier to accept it.

Forgive

I know. This is the hard part. You need to forgive others and most importantly you need to forgive yourself. Forgiving frees you from the weight and power of the pain of the past. When you forgive you are in a different position. Not a victim. You stand in a place of power. Again here journaling is a great resource. It is best to do this after accepting so that you can understand why things happened to forgive them. Write a letter to you or whoever it is that hurt you and make your peace with them.

Let it go

When I met Mr T I was post bad break up and very angry. One of the first songs he sent me was the frozen let it go song. I hated him for it. Although today acknowledge that he was absolutely spot on in his musical advice. That was what I needed. Anthony Giddens theorized, that we become the stories we and other people tell about ourselves. It’s true. And for a long time I used to tell the stories of my past the homelessness, the domestic abuse and the reckless youth, until I realized that I wasn’t that person anymore. Yet I and everybody else thought I was because that was what I told them about myself. You’ve met those people right ? You know, the ones that tell about how their life was and how hard they had it. They are stuck. You have to tell a new story about yourself. One about you now. You are a different person.

See yourself in the now

Remind you how great you are now, how abundant your life is and the amazing person you are today. Bring yourself back to the know. A great way to do this is the gratitude list. I am thankful for………….. Or another powerful way is to write your own pep talk which reinforces your greatness

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We can allow our past to be the monster in the closet or a closed chapter. It really is our choice. When we make our peace with it we free ourselves, tidy up inside and make space  physically and mentally to open up for a future. So whenever the past tries to mess with your mind show it who is boss now and take a stand. Remember you write your story so make sure it is one you want to read

Enjoy your journey <3

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#lifelessons101 – So halfway through 2017 how are your new year’s resolutions going? (2 min read)

Ahh June! In some ways I love you and some ways I hate you. Mid point of the year and just before the summer holidays life is busy and pressured, yet the promise of the holidays coming hangs in the air. A combination simultaneous of stress and hope. However as it is the midway throughout the year June is a great time to check in with your New Year’s resolutions. I mean how is it going? My vision board is full of beautiful healthy pictures of food and people doing yoga and yet as I write to you I haven’t trained all week and I am eating vegan bacon chips.

Ho hum, time to go back and check in with this year’s goals. Checking in actually is one of the best ways to motivate yourself and especially before a holiday.  Why? Getting connected with your goals, refocusing before taking a break gives you the time to clear your head and clear away the clutter before taking a re-energising break. After the summer hols you can return to your plans refreshed and raring to go.

Actually checking your progress is a scientifically proved to increases your chances of reaching your goals. Lead author Benjamin Harkin, PhD, of the University of Sheffield has conducted a conducted a meta-analysis of 138 studies comprising 19,951 participants that looked at the effectiveness of an intervention or treatment designed to prompt participants to monitor their goal progress. They found that prompting participants to monitor their progress toward a goal increased the likelihood that the participants would achieve that goal.

So pull that dusty list out of your diary and check in with yourself before your summer break. If you are not sure how then follow these easy steps.

 Do a review of your goals on paper:

Do I want to realize this goal?

Look at the goal you set for yourself. Is it still relevant? Does your life need this right now? Does this goal seem realistic? Is your goal measurable? Is this goal in line with your life vision? Do some brainstorming / free writing around these questions. If you have made a list of steps to take to your goals then you can colour code the relevance of this goal or stage. For example right now making 4 completely new vegetarian recipes a month is unfeasible however concentrating on a regular eating routine is manageable.

How am I doing, what’s my progress?

If you worked with my steps to making New Year’s resolutions that last you will remember than one part of the process is defining the steps you will take to reach your goals. So where are you now? How many of the steps have you completed? Cross off the completed steps on your list. If you haven’t created steps or actions then free write which actions you have taken.

Adapt your goal

Some of your goals may have changed. Some might not be relevant or there has been a life circumstance that has changed your desired outcome. Look at your goals and see if you need to adapt your original goal.Write out your the adapted goals clearly so you can hold on to your vision.

Give yourself  a measurable unit to achieve your goal.

Have a look at each of your goals and define when you want to be complete with the goal or complete with the actions on the way to the goal. Make sure you prioritize your list. Somethings will need to be done now somethings can be left to August or later in the year.  

Call in the cavalry.

Get some help. Accountability is the best way to keep on task. Ask someone to act as your accountability partner. Let them know the goals and time frame you are working within. Ask them to help you keep on track. You can agree on a weekly telephone call or dates for them to contact you. And remember to reward yourself when you succeed. Arrange a celebration with someone for complete the assignments you have given yourself.

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Once you have organised your goals then put your dates in the diary and then get yourself ready for a holiday. Relax and rejuvenate and get ready to come back freshen and motivated!

BE Proud of your progress

#lifelessons101-When the sh*t hits the fan, stop running and read these 6 tips to help you turn it around (2 min read)

Sometimes things go wrong. It’s part of life. Actually its an important part of life that can bring us new possibilities. However when shit hits the fan it is a natural reaction to panic and run away, yet in the long run that gets you nowhere. Take it from one who knows, the problems follow you. At the same time when everything is going wrong it can demotivate you so much that you want to give up. What does that achieve? Well nothing. So when the shit hits the fan what can you do to ride the wave and bring your life back into harmony?

Here are six tips on how to take stock and take control of the runaway train in your life and come back into the flow.

Stop running

Firstly stop running. When things go wrong we can often keep pushing against the tide of chaos. A bit like a hamster on a tread wheel. It is exhausting and counterproductive. Stop. In order to see and solve a problem you need to get objective. So stop pushing against the tide and get some perspective.

Get objective

Whatever the problem is you need to break it down into edible chunks. Take a step back and get out your notepad and start to analyse. Ask yourself what exactly is the problem? What are the consequences of the problem? How do you want the situation to look? Sometimes just writing it down helps you to create structure in the chaos. And when you take a step back solutions will present themselves.

See the positive and learn

Although something has gone wrong, there will also at the same time be things that are going well. Make a list of what is going well and what is not. It can help to rebuild your motivation when you actually see in the midst of a crisis there is still things working. Looking at the positive and the negative will give you the opportunity to learn from the situation. I have a saying “Nothing is a bad experience if I can learn from it”, so use this as a learning opportunity.

What needs to be done ASAP

In a crisis situation there are things that need to be dealt with straight away and things that you can take your time over. Make a plan of the actions you need to take to solve the situation. Then look at each one and decide what needs to be done now and what you can leave until later on. Then follow your plan.

Take a break

Stress is one of the most demotivating factors in a crisis. With our body in fight or flight mode we are running on adrenaline and consequently cannot work at an optimal level. Take a break. At least 24 hours where you do something else and focus on something else. If you can do some exercise. It helps your body release the stress hormones and gives you dopamine improving not only your energy but your mood as well.

Trust and look for the opportunities that come your way

In any situation, especially a crisis, there is only so much you can do. Sometimes you have to sit back and cross your fingers. When you have done what you can to solve a situation you can simply do no more. At this time you have to be honest with the people involved, let them know you have done your best and look for the opportunities that come your way.

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Shitting hitting the fan can create crisis but it is our reaction to it that can turn it from a negative situation to a positive one. After all a crisis can sometimes be the catalyst to open up a whole new avenue of possibilities, you just need to be open to them.

If you are having a bad time of it right now. Don’t give up or runaway. Take stock and create a clear plan of action. Nothing is impossible and I know you can turn this situation around to be a fantastic opportunity for you.

Your Setback

 

 

#lifelessons101- Being authentically you in the spotlight in just 3 steps! (2 min read)

When was the last time you were naked? (And no I am not talking about physically I mean metaphorically). In this past week I have had the privilege of participating in the Wonderfully Wierd Women’s Branded workshop created by Esther De Charon De Saint Germain

This workshop for me has been a breath of fresh air.

Why? Well because I dared, I committed and I was authentically me. I put myself out there. And everybody liked it! Now that might not sound so difficult, when put like this, yet it is. Let’s take daring. Daring to do something that you are afraid of doing is natural. Especially when you have to end up in the spotlight. And I mean YOU have to out YOU the real YOU in the spotlight. We are all of us petrified of being us and being rejected. And actually that’s ok. It’s normal, almost genetic you could say. Theories say that this feeling comes from the days when we part of a tribe. Then our survival relied on that tribe, so daring to be in the spotlight was risking the tribe rejecting us, or worse killing us. It’s a basic survival instinct in our subconscious, However we don’t need to be scared of rejection anymore. Because the world is actually a smaller place these days. No-one is going to kill you if you stand up at work and dare to be different or present something. The fear of not daring actually causes much more pain to us than actually doing it. So we have to take charge of this fear.

This week I took charge. I dared to tell a bunch of strangers about me on a personal level. I dared listen to feedback on some really vulnerable things. Was I scared? Hell yeah! Did it stop me? No way! I fought that fear and did it anyway. And the result? A bunch of people I never met saw the authentic me as a strong powerful and even inspiring person. They saw the raw me. It was so empowering. I simply employed the power of fuck it and fuck them. (Not the most poetic of names I know but truly descriptive.)  

What I decided was simple. In 3 steps I found a clear path to being authentically me in the spotlight, and I want to share them with you.

Step number 1 : Acceptance

I basically accepted that not everyone would like me or resonate with me. I can’t please everyone and not everyone is going to like me. So what was the point in hiding me away trying to do the impossible and make everyone like me. And the ‘fuck them’ was born!

Step number 2 : Daring and do

Well if you can say ‘fuck them’ and decide to ignore all the people that don’t resonate or appreciate with you then you can say ‘fuck it’. Why ? Well because really if you know you won’t please everyone it stands to reason you will please someone. So ‘fuck it’. And once you have said ‘fuck it’ you have the power to dare, so do it. For me it was turning up at the workshop, doing the challenge and then putting out there for people to see. It might be the presentation, taking the talk with your partner or simply putting on the dress you are hella nervous about wearing (Oh and when it comes to the dress people won’t notice. This happens to me a lot. I debate, worry, take it on, off etc when I think something is too daring, then I wear it anyway and people just act like , well like normal around me! After all my stress it is a little insulting).  Nike is right “Just do it” be bold be brave and step into the spotlight.

Step number three – Enjoying the results.

So if you followed the step one and two thought processes by now you should have already dared and are standing in the spotlight being authentically you. What next? Well stop closing your eyes and waiting for a thunderclap, open them and enjoy it. When you are authentically you, you will find that the right things happen, the right people are attracted to you and equally the right opportunities open up for you.  When we are authentically and honestly ourselves in the spotlight we inspire people. People actually begin to expect us to do it, it becomes our norm so to speak. So quit worriting and enjoy it.  (Celebrate your successes remember!) And if you meet someone who doesn’t like you then authentic you go back to step one and start all over again!

Have a great weekend and be authentically you while you are at it <3

REMEMBER