#lifelessons101-When the sh*t hits the fan, stop running and read these 6 tips to help you turn it around (2 min read)

Sometimes things go wrong. It’s part of life. Actually its an important part of life that can bring us new possibilities. However when shit hits the fan it is a natural reaction to panic and run away, yet in the long run that gets you nowhere. Take it from one who knows, the problems follow you. At the same time when everything is going wrong it can demotivate you so much that you want to give up. What does that achieve? Well nothing. So when the shit hits the fan what can you do to ride the wave and bring your life back into harmony?

Here are six tips on how to take stock and take control of the runaway train in your life and come back into the flow.

Stop running

Firstly stop running. When things go wrong we can often keep pushing against the tide of chaos. A bit like a hamster on a tread wheel. It is exhausting and counterproductive. Stop. In order to see and solve a problem you need to get objective. So stop pushing against the tide and get some perspective.

Get objective

Whatever the problem is you need to break it down into edible chunks. Take a step back and get out your notepad and start to analyse. Ask yourself what exactly is the problem? What are the consequences of the problem? How do you want the situation to look? Sometimes just writing it down helps you to create structure in the chaos. And when you take a step back solutions will present themselves.

See the positive and learn

Although something has gone wrong, there will also at the same time be things that are going well. Make a list of what is going well and what is not. It can help to rebuild your motivation when you actually see in the midst of a crisis there is still things working. Looking at the positive and the negative will give you the opportunity to learn from the situation. I have a saying “Nothing is a bad experience if I can learn from it”, so use this as a learning opportunity.

What needs to be done ASAP

In a crisis situation there are things that need to be dealt with straight away and things that you can take your time over. Make a plan of the actions you need to take to solve the situation. Then look at each one and decide what needs to be done now and what you can leave until later on. Then follow your plan.

Take a break

Stress is one of the most demotivating factors in a crisis. With our body in fight or flight mode we are running on adrenaline and consequently cannot work at an optimal level. Take a break. At least 24 hours where you do something else and focus on something else. If you can do some exercise. It helps your body release the stress hormones and gives you dopamine improving not only your energy but your mood as well.

Trust and look for the opportunities that come your way

In any situation, especially a crisis, there is only so much you can do. Sometimes you have to sit back and cross your fingers. When you have done what you can to solve a situation you can simply do no more. At this time you have to be honest with the people involved, let them know you have done your best and look for the opportunities that come your way.

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Shitting hitting the fan can create crisis but it is our reaction to it that can turn it from a negative situation to a positive one. After all a crisis can sometimes be the catalyst to open up a whole new avenue of possibilities, you just need to be open to them.

If you are having a bad time of it right now. Don’t give up or runaway. Take stock and create a clear plan of action. Nothing is impossible and I know you can turn this situation around to be a fantastic opportunity for you.

Your Setback

 

 

How to relax when the pressure is on! 5 easy ways to relax in only 15 minutes (2 minute read)

So here we are at the start of June. I don’t know about you, but I often find that this month is one of the busiest and most tiring of the year. If you are at school then exams are looming, at work there are deadlines to be finished before the holidays. Everywhere people are rushing about like worker ants determined to have everything place before that precious resting time of the year the glorious holidays. In a way this hive of activity is completely natural as in the wheel of the year we are coming closer and closer to the height of the summer, the summer solstice. However if we don’t want to crash and burn when it comes to our holidays we need to make sure we remember to take breaks and relax. After all life is all about enjoying the journey and what better time to enjoy it than when the sun is shining!

So for those of you, who like me are feeling a little overwhelmed with all of this activity here are my tips for helping you to make time, infact only 15 minutes a day to relax and recharge during the pre summer rush!

Spend your time wisely

As Tony Schwartz, the founder and CEO of the Energy Company says “Paradoxically, the best way to get more done may be to spend more time doing less.”  Just as I recommended at Yule planning the month or time up until the holidays is the best way to get what you need to do done without burning yourself out. For ideas look at the Yule planning guide. Try and see if you can set a block of time aside to do something rather than doing five minutes here and there. Having the time to immerse yourself in a task will get it done quicker. 15 minutes of planing for the month is gonna save you a lot of time and stress during the month.

Plan breaks

In your monthly planning plan your break times first. There is only one you and you need to take care of you, otherwise you ain’t gonna be going anywhere or doing anything. Remember the art of not doing anything promotes prosperity. Take a break. Give yourself 15 minutes every day just to unwind and recharge and you will soon notice the difference.

Re charge on sleep

The pace of life we set for ourselves today is unsustainable. When I first moved to Scandinavia I was surprised the the concept of the afternoon nap is socially acceptable for all ages of adults, as well as children. To me it was a waste of time. Yet I have discovered the power of forty winks in the middle of the day is actually one of the best lifestyle treatments you can give yourself (with the added bonus of being free!)  Arianna Huffington  co-founder and editor of the Huffington Post says “Sleep makes us more productive, creative, less stressed and much healthier and happier,”  and she, as “sleep evangelist” ,believes this so wholeheartedly that she provides places for her employees to power nap at work and other companies are following her lead. Book yourself a power nap everyday. Even as a busy Mum it’s possible just get the whole family involved and introduce power napping to the daily routine.

Get outside

Nature is one of the best possible re energisers. It’s official. Rochester university has done extensive research to find out that “Nature is fuel for the soul, “.Nature energises us, making us more resilient even to illnesses.Research showed that 90% of the participants felt more energised after 15 mins in nature. So instead of reaching for another coffee go to the park on your lunch break or take the kids for a walk after school.

Have time in the sun

Right now the sun is shining and this does wonders for us. Humans and the sun have a relationship that is similar to a solar panel. The sun’s rays actually helps lower blood pressure and increases oxygen content in our blood. The increase in our vitamin D actually strengthens our brain’s cognitive functions and helps the part of our brain which stores our memories! And of course on sunny days our brains make more serotonin which makes us feel happy. So while we have the sun around us get outside and recharge (although do remember to use sun block etc). 15 sunny minutes can make a huge difference during a busy day.

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Use your 15 minutes wisely. If you can’t do any of the above one of the simplest ways to relax is to have 15 minutes on no connection. No phones, computer no nothing with anyone else, just you. Make a commitment to making relaxing important this month and give yourself the gift of 15 minutes every day. It doesn’t have to cost anything however you will gain the boost you need to get you to the summer holidays without wearing yourself down.

On that note it’s power nap time – Have a relaxing and productive week !

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#lifelessons101- Being authentically you in the spotlight in just 3 steps! (2 min read)

When was the last time you were naked? (And no I am not talking about physically I mean metaphorically). In this past week I have had the privilege of participating in the Wonderfully Wierd Women’s Branded workshop created by Esther De Charon De Saint Germain

This workshop for me has been a breath of fresh air.

Why? Well because I dared, I committed and I was authentically me. I put myself out there. And everybody liked it! Now that might not sound so difficult, when put like this, yet it is. Let’s take daring. Daring to do something that you are afraid of doing is natural. Especially when you have to end up in the spotlight. And I mean YOU have to out YOU the real YOU in the spotlight. We are all of us petrified of being us and being rejected. And actually that’s ok. It’s normal, almost genetic you could say. Theories say that this feeling comes from the days when we part of a tribe. Then our survival relied on that tribe, so daring to be in the spotlight was risking the tribe rejecting us, or worse killing us. It’s a basic survival instinct in our subconscious, However we don’t need to be scared of rejection anymore. Because the world is actually a smaller place these days. No-one is going to kill you if you stand up at work and dare to be different or present something. The fear of not daring actually causes much more pain to us than actually doing it. So we have to take charge of this fear.

This week I took charge. I dared to tell a bunch of strangers about me on a personal level. I dared listen to feedback on some really vulnerable things. Was I scared? Hell yeah! Did it stop me? No way! I fought that fear and did it anyway. And the result? A bunch of people I never met saw the authentic me as a strong powerful and even inspiring person. They saw the raw me. It was so empowering. I simply employed the power of fuck it and fuck them. (Not the most poetic of names I know but truly descriptive.)  

What I decided was simple. In 3 steps I found a clear path to being authentically me in the spotlight, and I want to share them with you.

Step number 1 : Acceptance

I basically accepted that not everyone would like me or resonate with me. I can’t please everyone and not everyone is going to like me. So what was the point in hiding me away trying to do the impossible and make everyone like me. And the ‘fuck them’ was born!

Step number 2 : Daring and do

Well if you can say ‘fuck them’ and decide to ignore all the people that don’t resonate or appreciate with you then you can say ‘fuck it’. Why ? Well because really if you know you won’t please everyone it stands to reason you will please someone. So ‘fuck it’. And once you have said ‘fuck it’ you have the power to dare, so do it. For me it was turning up at the workshop, doing the challenge and then putting out there for people to see. It might be the presentation, taking the talk with your partner or simply putting on the dress you are hella nervous about wearing (Oh and when it comes to the dress people won’t notice. This happens to me a lot. I debate, worry, take it on, off etc when I think something is too daring, then I wear it anyway and people just act like , well like normal around me! After all my stress it is a little insulting).  Nike is right “Just do it” be bold be brave and step into the spotlight.

Step number three – Enjoying the results.

So if you followed the step one and two thought processes by now you should have already dared and are standing in the spotlight being authentically you. What next? Well stop closing your eyes and waiting for a thunderclap, open them and enjoy it. When you are authentically you, you will find that the right things happen, the right people are attracted to you and equally the right opportunities open up for you.  When we are authentically and honestly ourselves in the spotlight we inspire people. People actually begin to expect us to do it, it becomes our norm so to speak. So quit worriting and enjoy it.  (Celebrate your successes remember!) And if you meet someone who doesn’t like you then authentic you go back to step one and start all over again!

Have a great weekend and be authentically you while you are at it <3

REMEMBER

Have a healthy life by celebrating your success! (2 min read)

I’m sitting here alone on a Monday afternoon, in a cafe on a sunny day in Denmark with relaxing jazz in the background and a tall cold, glass of bubbling wine in my hand. I am celebrating my latest success! It’s lovely. I probably don’t look as chic as I feel but it’s the feeling that is important not the way I look. I feel fantastic. And part of the reason I feel so great is not just because I have been successful. It is because I have taken this hour to celebrate my success.

In our busy lives we actually have many successes be they small or large and yet in the hectic schedule they can often be overlooked and therefore go unnoticed.  All work and no play made jack a dull boy and the same goes for you too. Our successes in life are our high points. If we don’t acknowledge them then life is seriously boring.

In today’s society we are all incredibly focused on what is wrong, what is not working and how can we fix it. I am not saying that is all bad, good growth comes from this form of processing; HOWEVER if we only ever focus on the bad, we will only ever see the bad. And if you are seeing only bad then guess what? You will attract more of it. And that my friends creates a negative mindset and we all know how unhealthy and damaging that can be.

There are many reasons why you should celebrate your successes and when it becomes a habit you will find that life actually becomes EVEN MORE successful for you. Why ? Because as you send out a vibration of success the world around you ripples back a wave of success.

Here are 5 reasons why you should celebrate your successes, no matter how big or small, today

It feels great!

It feels wonderful to celebrate something we have achieved. It energises us. When we achieve something our body releases dopamine the happy chemical into our blood. And as  after all being happy and enjoying our life is what we all want, right? So why miss a perfectly good opportunity to enjoy yourself!

It’s inspiring!

 

Celebrating or success can be inspirational to our future successes. Just as we can learn from something going wrong we can also learn from it going right. Make a note of what you did that helped create your success and look at it when you are aiming for a different star.

It’s motivating!

It’s logical. If you are working towards a goal and it always feels like that goal is slipping away and is un-achieveable then why would you want to keep going. By marking our successes big and small, especially the small, we remember them and we can feel how close we are getting to our goal and that makes us want to keep going. Your success are proof that you can do whatever it is your set your mind to do.

It attracts more success!

Basically the more you celebrate your successes you develop a success mindset. And that is a mindset you need to keep feeding. By noting your successes you are telling yourself “look at what I can do”. Keep looking for opportunities to celebrate your success and you will surprise yourself with how often you have success.

It’s shareable!

Celebrating your success with others is a form of sharing abundance. Think about all of your friends happy pictures and statuses on Facebook that make you feel good. People want to have fun, they like to hear good news so let them join in your fun and make everyone feel great!

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So no matter what successes you have had today, big or small, it could be managing to do the washing up when you are seriously depressed or celebrating your first big movie deal, whatever it is celebrate it. Remember as Osho says “Life should not only be lived it should be celebrated”
Have a wonderful week <3

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What’s your secret Disney Identity? Disney films and characters as a self development and motivational tool (3 min read)

I was recently asked if ‘You were a brand what brand would you be?’ ‘What brand would describe your personality?’ Wow great soul searching questions and the answer? I would be Disney. (And seriously for a natural conscious earth respecting hippie like myself I was shocked at this however the fact remained that I as a brand I would be Disney.) Creative, playful. A Walt Disney quote is even one of my mantras “If you can dream it, you can do it”.

The more I thought about it the more I wondered why is it that I connect so much with Disney? And the answer came to me relatable characters, adversity  and bravery to follow their dreams and stories that connected with me at the right place and time in my life when I needed to hear a particular message.  Honestly the Little Mermaid was me at 11, rash and daring, Belle at 14, desperate to go out into the world and escape my small town life, Mulan the warrior facing and winning against all the odds inspired me in my partially homeless 20s and Tiana now in my 30’s determined to create my dream into reality. I have been a constant Peter Pan all of my days, with the optimism of Winnie the Pooh and lived all of the fears and bravery of Piglet. And not forgetting Up, the film that inspires and epitomises my dream of a true love and partnership.

Most of us have a favourite Disney film and a favourite character. But have you ever thought about what your connection to that story and character is ? (Apart from your tshirts, mugs and cuddly toys either hidden about the home or proudly displayed.) Every story we have heard or seen  and remembered has affected us on a conscious or unconscious level. As we feel drawn to a character we admire them, their personality traits their resilience. I mean who wouldn’t love to have Rapunzel’s effectiveness in housework chores. Seriously though these characters we love display qualities we wish to possess or mimic. For example take my connection with Belle. She didn’t fit in, neither did my 14 year old self. She didn’t seem to care and stayed determinedly herself, my 14 year old self desperately wanted to do that. Belle made sacrifices for her father who she loved and put his needs before her own. Something I have always done (although the latter was not a healthy experience it did teach me a lot). Her story is as much a transformation as the Beast’s and oh didn’t my bespeckled, teeth braced awkward self want the transformation from bookish outsider to a loved and appreciated beauty.

These films, these characters we identify with have messages for us all throughout our lives if we look for them. Recently I re-saw Beauty and the Beast and I was shocked at the power of my emotions. Honestly I was crying and afterwards when I looked at which songs I had been so moved by I realised that my life situation at the moment was reminding me a lot of my teenage gawky school days as I now face my recent Asperger’s diagnosis and living in an entirely new place. The film helped me see the challenge clearly and from that I have now been able to work with it.

Try watching your favourite Disney movie. Make notes of where you feel emotional pulls. Who do you identify with and why? How does this character, plot line relate to you now or in the past. Journal this and see if you can find a teaching in the message the film has given you. (And sorry no I cannot be more specific the message is yours to interpret I can’t guide you there, just keep looking until you find the answer).

Disney characters can also be used as a way of identifying our ideal personalities. Now please don’t get me wrong I am not saying any one Disney character is absolutely perfect, they are not. However as I mentioned before they have qualities we admire that we would like to see in ourselves.

Think about the qualities of your favourite character. What do you admire in them? Write a list. Now look at each quality ask yourself how am I like this? If you cannot see this but would like to then ask yourself ,how can I bring this quality into my life?

Many years ago I found out quite by accident that not only can Disney character’s help us learn about ourselves, they can also act as motivators and inspiration. A girlfriend was in a bad situation. She loved Pocahontas. So I, in my desperation to help ,asked what she though Pocahontas would do. To my surprise her body language took on a different quality. Her head went back and she knew exactly how her favourite character would have handled her situation. So I told her to connect with her inner Pocahontas when she need the bravery to face her problem. A few days later she was on top of the world and the problem was on her way to being solved! I have tried this time and time again and I have always found it works. We just find it easier sometimes to think through another’s perspective and character. Plus when we think of them we smile and feel good, which just goes to show Disney is doing what it does best if it can evoke that feeling even years after we have seen a film.

Or maybe it is as Tinkerbell said “Imagination has no age”. So allow yourself to connect with your inner child and find your secret Disney identity this week. Allow the magical kingdom to open doors and pathways to healing, understanding, bravery, imagination and empowerment whether it’s from a mouse, a fairy, a princess, a stuffed bear or simply a warthog <3

 

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How is your life going right now? One off life quality assessment and coaching this spring (2 min read)

I want to ask you all 3 important questions :

  • How is your life going right now?

  • Are you on top of your game with a balanced, successful and sustainable lifestyle, or can you sense that the quality of your life is not quite the way you would like it to be?

  • When did you last check in with yourself to find out?

For me having the life I love means a balance between the 6 main roots of life

Personal health

Financial security

Loving supportive community

Effective success

Relaxation opportunities

Inspirational input

 

I have developed a holistic way for you to check in with yourself, assess your quality of life right now and identify the areas of your life that need transformation so that you can easily  create the life you love.

In May and June I have 10 one hour skype coaching sessions available for you to have a holistic life quality assessment. In a one hour skype coaching session you will

  • Receive an assessment of  the current state of your life’s quality

  • Gain insight into what is the perfect life for you

  • And receive an implementable  strategy you can begin using straightaway to transform your life.

These 5 one off life quality assessments coaching session will only available in May, June and July 2017 and cost £40/ 400 dkk / 54€ . So if you want to check in with yourself and the direction your life is taking this spring then email me to arrange your life quality assessment session.

I really want to help as many people as possible have a life they love so please share this mail with your family, friends and colleagues or even the random person you meet on the bus.

We all deserve a balanced, successful, sustainable quality of life it’s my job to help you have that.

Looking forward to hearing from and meeting you soon

Enjoy your journey <3

Much love

Emma-Jane

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#lifelessons101 – Why people are draining you and how to stop it happening (3 min read)

 

It’s friday night, there is glorious sunshine out of my window, the wind is blowing and the garden is calling yet tonight I am simply too shattered to go out and play. I am tired. Not just physically but mentally. I am people tired.

As a life coach, and also in my private life, I work with people everyday and I love that. I love helping and giving help to self help, I love to help people grow and I love learning from the people I help and getting the opportunity to grow myself.  However sometimes I get exhausted by it. Sometimes I just get tired of people and I also get people tired. I know those sound similar they are not, bear with me I will explain. Getting tired of people is where you simply get fed of human interaction games until it exhausts. Getting people tired is where you feel drained by other people through helping too much.

The challenge is that getting tired of people and people tired is not something we usually talk about it polite society. Certainly not in inclusive Scandinavia where doing everything together is the way life is. YET we all have times where we feel like this. AND the teaching of being tired of people or of being people tired is actually a really important message for us if we choose to listen instead of being into the drama that people are just blooming annoying /stupid/insert adjective of choice, and why won’t they sort blah blah out, and why do they leave it to you and blah, blah, blah.

We just need to look for the teachings. And when you do you will find that the teachings of being tired of people and people tired are different ,yet also both have an initial underlying message. The underlying message is simple. It is that something is not right for you in the relationships you have and the interactions you having with other people. Both of these feelings are your spirits way of say “HELLO. Something ain’t in balance. Take notice!”

And the way to take notice (or the what to do about it) is defined by the individual teachings of being tired of people and people tired. I have noticed a few and these are below with a few suggestions for healing solutions. Maybe you have noticed other teachings if you have please share them in the comments below then we can all support each others learning journey.

Being tired of people:

Everyone you met is annoying and usually in the same way. I have found this can mean two thingsTEACHING: You are surrounding yourself with the wrong type of people. Your body, well more accurately your soul, is crying out to say I need to grow in a different way, these people don’t support that growth, find me people that support the growth I need.

HEALING SOLUTION: Soul search, identify what you need and call in the right people. You don’t need to cut other people off, just set the intention the the right people will turn up and distance yourself discreetly from the people that are reflecting attitudes or growth that you don’t need. If you can figure out what exactly it is that is bugging you about the people in your life it will give you a pretty clear idea of the change and growth you need .

TEACHING: The people in our lives mirror us. Which means the people bugging you are reflecting something about you, a habit that you have that you dislike and need to face in order to feel complete.

HEALING SOLUTION: Find out what it is and work with it. You can if you want to get to know the person that is bugging you, this does often give you deeper understanding of why they are the way they are and why you are the way you are. If you really dare (and I do know this is tough I have dared and also chosen not to) tell them you that they are bugging you because of X, Y and Z and that you realise this is something about your personality you dislike and that you wish to work with and begin a healing dialogue with them.

Being people tired.

People tired can be defined as never having time for yourself and yet help everyone else. I do this ALOT.

TEACHING: You are giving more than you can give you need to save energy for you and your life too.

HEALING SOLUTION:  Check in with yourself and set boundaries. Count to ten before saying yes or offering help make sure you have the resources for everything you need to do before trying to fix someone else’s life. After all if you are broken it won’t help them will it. If you feel bad you can always suggest a solution that doesn’t involve you and you find that you have helped.

TEACHING: You are putting off dealing with something in your own life by fixing someone else. after we all know how easy it is to fix everyone else’s lives rather than our own.

HEALING SOLUTION: Stop. Check in with you. What is it you have been putting off by helping everyone else? Do it. Eat that frog (not a real one, a metaphorical one …honestly! She says shaking her head.) Do thing thing you don’t want to do for you and once it is over you will feel better, Than you can help all and sundry,

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The moral of this tale is if you are feeling people tired or tired of people check in with you. In whatever extreme emotion situation you find yourself in life there will always always be a teaching you just need to look for it. And if you check in with you and fix your stuff you will be in a much better place to serve and enjoy the wonderful people in your life.

Have a restful and happy weekend <3

 

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