In the last two weeks we have been looking at how to create your powerful life. In part one we looked at Taking responsibility for your life and in part two we looked at Acknowledging your power. Now this week we are going to look at how to actively live a powerful life.
I am a great believer in taking action. Power is all about action. And you have the choice to choose to live powerful and do it or to step back and let life wash over you. Here are some great ways to take charge and create actions that will mean you are living a more powerful life. As always use what works for you and leave the rest behind.
Change your vibration.
Remove the 3 c’s from your life
Stop comparing, competing, and criticizing.
In one of my favourite poems and life guidelines in the poem Desiderata (by Max Erhmann) it says “If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. “ It’s true. There will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself. There will always be someone better or worse at doing the thing you want to do.
When you use the three c’s you waste SO much energy.
- Instead of complaining do something positive.
- When you see someone doing something better than you be inspire.
- Likewise if you see someone struggling or doing something badly, help.
One of the easiest ways to change our perspective is to change our use of language. Read these four sentences out loud and notice the energy changes or emotions in your body.
- I wanted to come and help you but I was really tired
- I wanted to come and help you however I was really tired.
- The problem is their product is better than ours.
- The challenge is that their product is better than ours.
The sentences say the same thing but energetically feel different. In the first example the but negates the first sentence, it gives the impression of being unbelievable, unconsciously the listener questions did this person actually want to help me ? And at the same time feels a little guilt tripped into not minding and feeling sorry for the person. In the second sentence the person saying it has take responsibility for their actions. It is straightforward and honest. The listener can and will, respond to this level of honesty positively. In the second example “problem” makes the situation feel heavy, its an issue a source of stress. Whereas in the second sentence the same situation can be overcome. It is a challenge to face. Problems are stressful. Challenges are exciting. Would you rather be stressed or excited? It’s up to you. This short example comes from a technique known as NLP (Neuro Linguistic programing). NLP techniques are used in the Sales world, education and a plethora of other professional environments. And they can make a massive impact within our own lives. Change the energy It is easy to be affected by other people’s energies. We draw them in like a sponge and its unhealthy for us. When in this situation change the energy. Change the topic of conversation. Compliment them talk about something they like, watch the energetical shift before your eyes. Remember if you can do this for someone else you can do it for you as well.
As a child I remember the clearly watching one smile light up and change the mood and environment of a train carriage. One man sat facing me was sitting smiling, it made me smile. Opposite me a lady caught the smile and slowly the smile travelled through the carriage. It felt good. Although I had been training all day in the ballet studio and was exhausted that smile changed my day, it made me feel content. ( Read the full story here) Although not yet conclusively defined, it is known that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Smiling makes us feel better. If you smile it helps you to change your mood. Try smiling at yourself in the mirror you will feel better. Laugh When you feel down try to laugh. See the humor in a situation. Make someone else laugh. If that doesn’t work watch or read something funny. Smiling and laughing releases dopamine which will make you feel better. When you feel happy people will respect that you will change not only your day but others.
Another way to change your own energy is the Peter Pan . The peter pan stance has changed my energy more times than I can count. Do you remember how Peter Pan stands wide legs hands in fists on hips and with his head and chin up and proud. The peter pan stance release dopamine and feels great. It’s not possible not to smile after doing it and the best part is it takes 3 seconds! So stand legs wide apart hands on hips, throw your head back ( mind your neck) and say loudly “HA!” I challenge you not to feel good afterwards!
Positive body language
The way we use our body has a huge impact on the way other people perceive us and more importantly about how we perceive ourselves. 93% of our communication is through body language. So if you stand with your head and shoulders wilting, people will perceive you as a wilted flower. If you stand strong and upright you seem more confident. And when you seem confident people treat you in that way.
Look about on the streets, the train and bus. Notice people’s body language what does it say to you? And analyse your own body language. By standing a little straighter with wider legs people respond differently to you. Another way of changing your own confidence levels is to walk faster that you would normally. When you walk with purpose, slightly faster than the average pace you create a field of importance. If you are in a room where you don’t know many people, see who is mimicking your body language. That person feels comfortable with you. That is the person you can naturally talk with. At the same time if you want to make an impression someone for example a boss or interviewer subtly copy their body language and they will feel more comfortable with you. Body language is a fascinating study, but you don’t need to go so deeply into the subject. Find the few changes you need to make yourself feel positive and do that.
Set your intentions – End of Day thinking
A method of setting clear intentions for your day is called ‘end day thinking’. I step away from my desk for a moment and put the list of possible tasks for the day out of my mind. I then imagine myself sat in front of my evening meal that day and focus my attention on how I want to feel at that point in the day.
So, for me to feel like I have made the most of my time, and that I have had a ‘good’ day, I visualise the feeling I want to achieve. Today I am going to choose the feelings ‘calm and satisfied’. Now, I spend a little bit of time really making that visualisation clear. Imagining myself sat down about to eat my meal and sensing the calm and satisfied feelings in my body. It feels attainable. I then go back to my desk with a clear destination for the day. I then write a list of the tasks that I want to address that day, and in which order I want to approach them. All the tasks that I choose are somehow associated with attaining a sense of calm and satisfaction later, when I have achieved them. It is then clear for me to see which activities I want to avoid, which I know from previous experience have not taken me to the calm and satisfied feelings, such as surfing aimlessly on the net, spending hours making the meal tonight, as an even more elaborate distraction from the work I know I want to achieve! So I make a plan and I bring some of the feelings that I visualised into the now. I choose to approach the work feeling calm. End day thinking, can be used for any chosen time frame. It is self coaching at its best.
Again an attitude of gratitude and coming from a position of giving creates a feeling of positivity around you. There is a story about heaven and hell…In one room a pot of delicious stew sits in the middle of a big round table. The people at the table are holding unusually long handled spoons which made reaching their mouths impossible. They are thin, sick and weak. This room represents hell. The next room also has a large table and a delicious pot of stew as well… The people around this table also hold long-handled spoons. However these people are plump, healthy and happy because they’ve learned to feed each other. This room represents heaven. Remember To a tree whose branches are numerous but whose roots are few. The wind comes along and uproots it and sweeps it down. We are only as strong as the community or roots we grow. Make it a goal to help or serve someone every day. Expect nothing in return and you will find that you have around you strong roots to reach for the sun from.
Lastly FACE YOUR FEARS!
Although some fears are rational and serve to defend us, a survival instinct. Some are simply blockers to your development, it is your mind’s way of tricking you to remain in old, comfortable and familiar patterns. I truly believe in challenging these fears. And if I get scared I remember my favorite quote; “Bravery is not the absence of fear, it is having a fear and doing it anyway”.
Try out some of these techniques this week. I particularly love Peter Pan and the walking faster and with purpose tricks these wow me every time and boost my energy sky high when I need it! Have a great week!