Human being  or human doing? A guide to intentional living (4 min read)

It is easy to get into a rut. We have all been there. It is even easier to get into a non engaged repetitive lifestyle, in short to be human being. A zombie if you like doing the same thing day in day out and not being particularly happy doing it. But what would it look like if you were living a life you loved? Wouldn’t it be great to wake up each day happy with you life, motivated and engaged. A human doing. Intentionally living and getting the most out of life.

This is not a pipe dream living this way, it is possible AND more importantly it is  thousands of people do this every day. Thousands of people live their lives intentionally. And so can you, if you want it. Intentional living is about learning how to make better decisions, so you’re happier and have fewer regrets.  It is choosing to live your life consciously and with purpose. Intentional living gives you the opportunity to step away from simply existing to designing your life. Empowering yourself to  choose and be who you want to be and do what you want to do.

Now do you want a piece of that? OF course you do. Everyone wants an intentional life. Not everyone creates it. Why? Well it’s because intentional living is the beyond the wishing on a star to make your dreams come true. (After all a star is a luminous sphere of plasma held together by its own gravity, how is that supposed to help you with anything.) Remember the wisdom of the late Terry Pratchett,

“If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you’ll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren’t so lazy.”

The point being is that if you want to change your life then it’s up to one person you. And you alone. People can support you, guide you but it’s you that has to do the leg work. It means changing habits and going through the place of discomfort to get to the place of bliss. Rome wasn’t built in a day and your life won’t change overnight. However if you put in the effort to live intentionally then one day all of sudden you will find that you are living a life that inspires you. A happy life.

So if you are still in, if you are ready to commit to yourself then follow this guide to intentional living and experience creating the life you want.

Life inventory

Before you know where you are going you need to know where you are. There are some basic areas that make up the founding roots of a person’s life. These are;

  1. Health – How you treat your body and your current state of health?
  2. Finances/ security – Your home, income and financial status ?
  3. Community – Your state of your relationships, family, friends, co workers ?
  4. Effectiveness (success) – How successful and effective you feel in your life?
  5. Relaxation  – What you do to relax and how often you do it ?
  6. Inspirations and dreams  – What inspires you, how often do you connect with it and are you striving for your dreams?

Take a life inventory. How does your life look in each of these areas right now?

Create the vision

So now you know where you are at you need to know where you want to go. There are many ways to do this. Brainstorming, create a vision board or making your bucket list are all effective and possible ways to focus yourself on your intentional life vision. Try making an overall plan for each area of your life, don’t be too specific just a loose description of that part of your life in its ideal state.

Create Goals

Goal setting focuses us and gives a point reference to know we are succeeding in the way we want to. Make sure your goal is measurable in units of time so if it’s  1 month or one year, it doesn’t matter, the time target makes us accountable for the goal.

Take conscious action every month, week and day

Check in with your goals every week and incorporate them into your daily planning. I use a 3 list system a monthly list which focuses on each goal. A weekly list which keeps me on task. And the daily list which keeps your goals in mind everyday.

Assess and reward your progress every week

Each week just before making your new weekly to do list assess  your progress with your monthly goals. Give yourself a reward for completing tasks each week. Celebrating success is an important part of intentional living.

Keep a work and life balanced

Living intentionally is also about living a balanced life. We need to be good to ourselves. So plan your rest and relaxation as much as your work and career. Keep you a foremost priority, After all without you nothing happens at all. Make the time to re energise

Cultivate a positive atmosphere and attitude to life

Taking charge of your attitude to life and the atmosphere surrounding you is an important part of intentional living. Cultivate positive habits to remind you to live intentionally for example mindfulness be it meditation or mindful eating, or making your bed in the morning. Call positive people into your life and keep a distance from the naysayers and their negative influences. One of the best ways of changing your atmosphere is to create around you an attitude of gratitude and celebrate your life.

Do a life inventory every 6 months

Life is constantly changing and evolving as indeed are you. Every six months do a life inventory and keep yourself aware you are at and where you are going.

Make memories

A great life in my opinion is rich in both experiences and memories. I love to experience new things, new places and honestly if I don’t life becomes boring. Make conscious time each month to make a memory, to have and experience and have fun- life should always be about enjoying the journey!

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Intentional living does take effort but the great part is that once you get past the uncomfortable this is a new habit I don’t like change part of your experience, intentional living becomes well, second nature. Keep yourself engaged in your life. It is a precious gift. You have everything you need to live your perfect life, you just have to want it enough to do something about it and become a human doing.

Enjoy your journey 🙂

 

Live

#Lifelessons101 -A guide to sleeping for your success. You can sleep your way to the top! (2 min read)

It is amazing how many people sleep less and less the older we get. I mean why? Our bodies don’t need less sleep, in fact as we get older we get tireder quicker and we indeed need more sleep. In the 1980s it became de rigueur to show people how little we sleep. Sleep was overrated, a waste of time.  But if you want to see the idiocies of the sleepless just look at Donald Trump who proudly advocates having a few hours and night. It OBVIOUSLY hasn’t helped his intellect.

Luckily today, sleep is back in fashion. Entrepreneurs everywhere are making the time for their zsss. Sleep is now an indication of success. People at the top sleep. In fact when you are properly rested it is possible to sleep your way to the top. And no I don’t mean biblicaly. I mean with the energy from being properly rested, you have the energy to succeed. When we sleep our blood pressure drops, our muscles relax, tissues grows and repairs and energy is restored. What’s not to like?

But where to find the time? Well entrepreneurs are some of the busiest people in the world (and that’s if they are successful or not) how the heck do they do it? Prioritizing and time management. If it’s important you make the time. You are important so you owe it to yourself to take care of you so that you can succeed.

So to make sure reach the top here’s my tip top guide to sleeping your way to success!

Get the right amount of sleep for you

The National Sleep Foundation gives a recommendation for every age group but we all have our own optimal pattern. Mine is 8 hours any less and i feel exhausted and weepy after a couple of days. So figure out what the best amount of sleep is for you. Too little and you are still exhausted, too much and you feel clogged up.

Plan your sleep

Know when you are going to sleep. Plan your bedtimes, Just until you get into the habit of going to bed in good time for you. Plan your lay ins too. We all need them from time to time so give yourself the opportunity to indulge in your duvet. Get into a regular bed and wake up times it helps your body to be in a continuous rhythm.

Get into an  optimal sleep cycle

With sleep becoming fashionable there are many new sleep fads popping up. One of the theories that has been proven to work is using our optimal sleep cycle. A full sleep cycle lasts about 90 minutes and is normally repeated several times each night. Most of us need four or five cycles in a 24 hour period. So you need to work out how many sleep cycles you are going to get in a night. Work backwards from your wake up time and make sure you wake up at the end of a cycle. You can feel it if you wake up mid cycle, it’s feels a bit like being hungover.

Prepare yourself for sleep

Give yourself a proper wind down towards sleep. Get into a pre-sleep routine. Avoid caffeine and alcohol. Set an alarm 30 mins before bed and get off the computer, telephone or tablet. Find an activity to help you wind down, meditating, reading, drawing, mindfulness. If you head is full of thoughts write them out, on paper. Whatever allows your body to get into a chill zone. These days I make it a priority to not work after dinner in the evenings. It actually makes me more productive and I am much more relaxed.

Cat nap

Spain is known for its siesta. What a great concept. Getting a boost in the middle of the day does wonders for the body, mind and soul.However keeping in mind sleep cycles you should aim for a 40 min cat nap to not wake up feeling groggier than you did before hand.

Plan your day and get into a rhythm

The key to having enough time to sleep and be successful is down to daily planning and getting into a rhythm. When we are in a rhythm it frees us. We form habits and daily tasks become efficient. There are many ways of planning and time management strategies. Here is an article on planning so you can find the strategy that works for you.


Sleep is the best retreat we have.  Arianna Huffington says “By helping us keep the world in perspective, sleep gives us a chance to refocus on the essence of who we are. And in that place of connection, it is easier for the fears and concerns of the world to drop away.” Sleep is entirely a world of own and the one place where we can recharge no matter what. Make your sleep important, make entering that private world of yours important. The more you value yourself, the more you will succeed.

Enjoy your journey <3

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A rubbish ‘meh’ day is the point before a break through! (2 min read)

Today has been a meh day. You know the type. Low energy. No motivation. Even if the sun is shining in the windows of your soul it continuously rains. Nothing works. Nothing is good. Meh, meh, meh. The irritating thing is that this particular meh day comes on one of those rare days when i actually have nothing to do apart from write! And so wonderfully my inspiration button has been on an all time low beeeeeeeeeeeep all blooming day.

I have promised Mr T I will do some yoga with him later but my heart is not really in it. However guilty with the knowledge that I am wasting time I have been looking all day for sources of inspiration. I  have, of course visited my ever growing pinterest library of Ted talks. Watched 3 and nothing, nada. I have hit the personal development section of amazon and did some half hearted retail therapy. Did some journaling and ended up even more unmotivated. Watched a film. Even tried to make fudge which although worked has given me a sugar high (which is burning cold with nowhere to put the energy, this is not yoga friendly energy).

It sucks and the more I have been fighting it, the worse it gets. Meh with meh on. Then it struck me, I have been here before. Oh not just the meh day thingy. I have been to this place of frustration before, many times. And if memory serves correctly it was always at the point of most frustration I would succeed. It comes down to my days of spinning Poi and my subsequent Poi theory.

If you don’t know Poi originates from New Zealand. it is the art of spinning balls on string or ropes in intricate patterns whilst dancing. In my case the balls were made of kevla and I used to set them on fire to dance. Fire Poi is now an accepted hippy entertainment at festivals and is even becoming more mainstream.

There was a time in my life where you would have rarely found me in an open space without me using my practice poi to try out new moves. Poi challenges the brain and coordination on every possible level. When trying out something new you get more bruises than you can imagine. It takes dedication, concentration, pain control and ALOT of frustration. Well what I found with the Poi was that after a while I would get into a meh frustrated state as I am in today. The more I battled, the more I would bash myself. The less likely it seemed that I would be able to do my new move. However when it became fever pitch frustration. At the point I most wanted to throw those poi away and give up, it was then I would succeed.

My Poi theory for many years became a mirror to my life. If things weren’t working and getting more frustrating I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I was going to succeed soon. It’s been many years now since I regularly did poi. I had all but forgotten my theory of poi. it reminded me of two very important things about being in the state of meh, as I am today.

One – Accept it –

If you fight it too much you will only make matters worse for yourself. Accept that this is where you are. You are at the annoying point before success.

Two – Don’t give up –

Keep going. Not in the argggh I want to do this but I can’t way. Keep going with the dogged determination that says I am not giving up and I am going to succeed.

In a way not giving up is easy when you know the Poi theory and accept it as truth. Why? Well because you know if you are at the stage of meh then you are so close to success. It just takes a little more effort, a last bit of persistence to get you over the edge to succeeding. And if you don’t believe it works then look at this article, you are reading the proof. I could not in month of Sundays, have written this earlier today until I remembered the poi theory, yet here we are with you reading this. I did it. I succeeded.

So if you are feeling all meh today. Think of what it is you want to succeed at. What is the mountain you need to shift. Know you are almost there and keep going. Just a bit more effort and all the bruises will have been worth it when you , as I do now, look back at your success, great or small; being all the more rewarding for sludging through the quagmire of a meh day.

Have a successful day and enjoy your journey 🙂

 

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#lifelessons101- Let frustration be the catalyst for whimsy and brighten your day! (1 min read)

Whimsy. It’s such a lovely word isn’t it. It means playfully quaint or fanciful behavior or humor or acting on a whim. And in this serious world of self development I feel we have more of a need for whimsy, in both of it’s meanings.

It was comedian James Vetch who said “Let frustration be the catalyst for whimsy” and I think this is genius. Frustration is something we all feel at times, if you are very unlucky it can be everyday. But what would the world be like if we took those frustrating periods in our lives and turned them into something playfully quaint and fanciful. Wouldn’t that be much more fun.

And honestly it would be healthier too. After all conscious living is about being in touch with yourself and choosing you reaction. Choosing whimsy over stress will make you both happier and more positive in your everyday.

Here are a few ideas on how to bring more whimsy into your life – enjoy

Planning

Ok, I know this might sound strange however when we are frustrated it can be challenging to be inspired. So write a list of whimsy ideas, random things you can do to make the day more fun. It could be starting a balloon bouncing competition in the canteen at lunchtime, eating cake for breakfast, sending silly memes to those stupid spam emails. Whatever you can think of. Big projects, small action. Just remember to keep it playful and light.

Get the whimsy bible

As you know I am an avid pupil of comedian Miranda Hart who not only is an amazingly talented person but also was a long term sufferer of anxiety. For Comic relief she wrote a book call “Miranda’s daily doses of such fun” and this can be interpreted as the whimsy  bible. For every day of the year Miranda suggests silly and amusing activities that are easy to do and hilarious. Guaranteed to lift anyone’s mood. I rarely say this but BUY IT. It will be the best present you have given yourself this year.

Do a good deed

Pack the person behind you in the queue at the supermarkets bags, or give a homeless person lunch or send a bunch a flowers to your Mum. Spread a little cheer and you will feel more cheerful. Its easy and makes life nicer

Dance in the kitchen

If nothing else when you are at home crank up your favorite tunes and dance around the kitchen like a mad thing for 5 minutes. Guaranteed to have you giggling and smiling in under 10 seconds!

BE spontaneous and have fun!

It’s actually that simple!

If you need more inspiration then check out some of James Vetch’s Ted talks. He is a complete whimsy master and his videos have the added bonus of making you laugh until your sides split- Have a whimsy weekend!

Enjoy your journey!

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3 Steps to creating a powerful life  – Part 3 Actively live a powerful life (4 min read)

In the last two weeks we have been looking at how to create your powerful life. In part one we looked at Taking responsibility for your life and in part two we looked at Acknowledging your power. Now this week we are going to look at how to actively live a powerful life.

I am a great believer in taking action. Power is all about action. And you have the choice to choose to live powerful and do it or to step back and let life wash over you. Here are some great ways to take charge and create actions that will mean you are living a more powerful life. As always use what works for you and leave the rest behind.

Change your vibration.

Remove the 3 c’s from your life ­

Stop comparing, competing, and criticizing.

In one of my favourite poems and life guidelines in the poem Desiderata (by Max Erhmann) it says “If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. “ It’s true. There will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself. There will always be someone better or worse at doing the thing you want to do.

When you use the three c’s you waste SO much energy.

  • Instead of complaining do something positive.
  • When you see someone doing something better than you be inspire.
  • Likewise if you see someone struggling or doing something badly, help.

Positive language

One of the easiest ways to change our perspective is to change our use of language. Read these four sentences out loud and notice the energy changes or emotions in your body.

  1. I wanted to come and help you but I was really tired
  2. I wanted to come and help you however I was really tired.
  3. The problem is their product is better than ours.
  4. The challenge is that their product is better than ours.

The sentences say the same thing but energetically feel different. In the first example the but negates the first sentence, it gives the impression of being unbelievable, unconsciously the listener questions did this person actually want to help me ? And at the same time feels a little guilt tripped into not minding and feeling sorry for the person. In the second sentence the person saying it has take responsibility for their actions. It is straightforward and honest. The listener can and will, respond to this level of honesty positively. In the second example “problem” makes the situation feel heavy, its an issue a source of stress. Whereas in the second sentence the same situation can be overcome. It is a challenge to face. Problems are stressful. Challenges are exciting. Would you rather be stressed or excited? It’s up to you. This short example comes from a technique known as NLP (Neuro Linguistic programing). NLP techniques are used in the Sales world, education and a plethora of other professional environments. And they can make a massive impact within our own lives. Change the energy It is easy to be affected by other people’s energies. We draw them in like a sponge and its unhealthy for us. When in this situation change the energy. Change the topic of conversation. Compliment them talk about something they like, watch the energetical shift before your eyes. Remember if you can do this for someone else you can do it for you as well.

Smile

As a child I remember the clearly watching one smile light up and change the mood and environment of a train carriage. One man sat facing me was sitting smiling, it made me smile. Opposite me a lady caught the smile and slowly the smile travelled through the carriage. It felt good. Although I had been training all day in the ballet studio and was exhausted that smile changed my day, it made me feel content. ( Read the full story here) Although not yet conclusively defined, it is known that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Smiling makes us feel better. If you smile it helps you to change your mood. Try smiling at yourself in the mirror you will feel better. Laugh When you feel down try to laugh. See the humor in a situation. Make someone else laugh. If that doesn’t work watch or read something funny. Smiling and laughing releases dopamine which will make you feel better. When you feel happy people will respect that you will change not only your day but others.

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Peter Pan

Another way to change your own energy is the Peter Pan . The peter pan stance has changed my energy more times than I can count. Do you remember how Peter Pan stands wide legs hands in fists on hips and with his head and chin up and proud. The peter pan stance release dopamine and feels great. It’s not possible not to smile after doing it and the best part is it takes 3 seconds! So stand legs wide apart hands on hips, throw your head back ( mind your neck) and say loudly “HA!” I challenge you not to feel good afterwards!

Positive body language 

The way we use our body has a huge impact on the way other people perceive us and more importantly about how we perceive ourselves. 93% of our communication is through body language. So if you stand with your head and shoulders wilting, people will perceive you as a wilted flower. If you stand strong and upright you seem more confident. And when you seem confident people treat you in that way.

Look about on the streets, the train and bus. Notice people’s body language what does it say to you? And analyse your own body language. By standing a little straighter with wider legs people respond differently to you. Another way of changing your own confidence levels is to walk faster that you would normally. When you walk with purpose, slightly faster than the average pace you create a field of importance. If you are in a room where you don’t know many people, see who is mimicking your body language. That person feels comfortable with you. That is the person you can naturally talk with. At the same time if you want to make an impression someone for example a boss or interviewer subtly copy their body language and they will feel more comfortable with you. Body language is a fascinating study, but you don’t need to go so deeply into the subject. Find the few changes you need to make yourself feel positive and do that.

Set your intentions – End of Day thinking

A method of setting clear intentions for your day is called ‘end day thinking’. I step away from my desk for a moment and put the list of possible tasks for the day out of my mind. I then imagine myself sat in front of my evening meal that day and focus my attention on how I want to feel at that point in the day.

So, for me to feel like I have made the most of my time, and that I have had a ‘good’ day, I visualise the feeling I want to achieve. Today I am going to choose the feelings ‘calm and satisfied’. Now, I spend a little bit of time really making that visualisation clear. Imagining myself sat down about to eat my meal and sensing the calm and satisfied feelings in my body. It feels attainable. I then go back to my desk with a clear destination for the day. I then write a list of the tasks that I want to address that day, and in which order I want to approach them. All the tasks that I choose are somehow associated with attaining a sense of calm and satisfaction later, when I have achieved them. It is then clear for me to see which activities I want to avoid, which I know from previous experience have not taken me to the calm and satisfied feelings, such as surfing aimlessly on the net, spending hours making the meal tonight, as an even more elaborate distraction from the work I know I want to achieve! So I make a plan and I bring some of the feelings that I visualised into the now. I choose to approach the work feeling calm. End day thinking, can be used for any chosen time frame. It is self­ coaching at its best.

Serve others:

Again an attitude of gratitude and coming from a position of giving creates a feeling of positivity around you. There is a story about heaven and hell…In one room a pot of delicious stew sits in the middle of a big round table. The people at the table are holding unusually long handled spoons which made reaching their mouths impossible. They are thin, sick and weak. This room represents hell. The next room also has a large table and a delicious pot of stew as well… The people around this table also hold long-handled spoons. However these people are plump, healthy and happy because they’ve learned to feed each other. This room represents heaven. Remember To a tree whose branches are numerous but whose roots are few. The wind comes along and uproots it and sweeps it down. We are only as strong as the community or roots we grow. Make it a goal to help or serve someone every day. Expect nothing in return and you will find that you have around you strong roots to reach for the sun from.

Lastly FACE YOUR FEARS!

Although some fears are rational and serve to defend us, a survival instinct. Some are simply blockers to your development, it is your mind’s way of tricking you to remain in old, comfortable and familiar patterns. I truly believe in challenging these fears. And if I get scared I remember my favorite quote; “Bravery is not the absence of fear, it is having a fear and doing it anyway”.

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Try out some of these techniques this week. I particularly love Peter Pan and the walking faster and with purpose tricks these wow me every time and boost my energy sky high when I need it! Have a great week!

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#lifelessons101 What to do when when your past attacks your now (3 min read)

Recently I watch a short video on Facebook about the Syrian ballet dancer Ahmad Joudeh, it is immensely powerful and inspiring. However one thing he said struck me on such a personal level

“It’s annoying when you past is attacking your mind when you are trying to build a new life.”

I could completely relate to this. Can’t you. All of us who are into living conscious lives and manifesting our dreams know the destructive and demobilizing power of the fears of our past. The hit hard and swift and take us completely out of ourselves, the moment and the focus. I used to get this a lot. In fact it was so strong that I would find myself reacting in the now to past events. For example if Mr T and I were arguing (and yes we do) I would actually be reacting to and ex partner’s behavior not his. It was scary.

So how to break the chain and stop those past events or fears taking over? Well it is not an overnight process and it takes a form of being completely honest with yourself and with the people closest in your life. However it is possible. You can keep those fear dragons in the past where they cannot burn you.  

When the past comes knocking try these steps to send it on its way

Stop and breath

When you feel the fear or memory rising and reinforcing all of your negative thoughts then Stop! Breath. Don’t allow it to take over and start a negative spiral in your mind. Tell yourself this is from the past not from the now, This is not happening or true to who I am or where I am in my life right now.

Which drama is this?

A drama is a way of acting that has become an unconscious reaction and defense in certain situations, created from past events. Ask yourself what drama is this? Which drama is affecting my reactions right now? Mr T and I do this together and honestly from the minute we started our arguments have gone down to 10% of what they used to be, Now we discuss the emotions, the back story and then analyse the feelings in relation to the now events. It makes for a much more rational and cooperative communication and we both know each other so much better because of it. Of course if you are going to do this with someone you have to trust each other completely. There has to be an agreement that you will not use this information about each other against each other. It’s an important pact to get in place from the start. Looking and understanding your dramas is really therapeutic

Accept that your past is in your past

It’s over. Accept it. A healthy way to do this is to understand it. I can recommend both journaling and counselling here. Getting our emotions out of our body and sharing them with another person can give us objectivity. When you understand the root of something it is easier to accept it.

Forgive

I know. This is the hard part. You need to forgive others and most importantly you need to forgive yourself. Forgiving frees you from the weight and power of the pain of the past. When you forgive you are in a different position. Not a victim. You stand in a place of power. Again here journaling is a great resource. It is best to do this after accepting so that you can understand why things happened to forgive them. Write a letter to you or whoever it is that hurt you and make your peace with them.

Let it go

When I met Mr T I was post bad break up and very angry. One of the first songs he sent me was the frozen let it go song. I hated him for it. Although today acknowledge that he was absolutely spot on in his musical advice. That was what I needed. Anthony Giddens theorized, that we become the stories we and other people tell about ourselves. It’s true. And for a long time I used to tell the stories of my past the homelessness, the domestic abuse and the reckless youth, until I realized that I wasn’t that person anymore. Yet I and everybody else thought I was because that was what I told them about myself. You’ve met those people right ? You know, the ones that tell about how their life was and how hard they had it. They are stuck. You have to tell a new story about yourself. One about you now. You are a different person.

See yourself in the now

Remind you how great you are now, how abundant your life is and the amazing person you are today. Bring yourself back to the know. A great way to do this is the gratitude list. I am thankful for………….. Or another powerful way is to write your own pep talk which reinforces your greatness

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We can allow our past to be the monster in the closet or a closed chapter. It really is our choice. When we make our peace with it we free ourselves, tidy up inside and make space  physically and mentally to open up for a future. So whenever the past tries to mess with your mind show it who is boss now and take a stand. Remember you write your story so make sure it is one you want to read

Enjoy your journey <3

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3 Steps to creating a powerful life – Part 2 Acknowledge your own power (3 min read)

So last week we looked at how we create our own realities. It can be quite a shock when you see that you really do shape everything around you by the responses you make. And an empowering experience to begin changing your reactions to a more positive response. That is really living from a place of power.

However it is sometimes hard to believe that we, ourselves are powerful beings.  I know I struggled with this for a long time and occasionally still do. I mean me powerful, pull the other one it’s got bells on I would say. However when I really began to look at it. I had to admit I am a pretty powerful women. It just took me consciously looking at it with an objective perspective.

So here is a how to find out and acknowledge the power within you

Firstly have a look for your power

The word power can often get a bad reputation with negative connotations. It depends on your perspective, To recognise one’s own power can be seen as being big headed, to be proud in one’s abilities and power can initiate the “pride comes before a fall” in others. Of course there is place for humility, however having a good sense of your own self power gives a solid foundation for confidence, self acceptance and being able to create and live the life you want. After all what is wrong with acknowledging your own strength? At the summer solstice the sun is at the height of it’s power, but how about you? Are you at the height of your power? What indeed is your power?

Try these two exercises to help you find out how you are powerful

  • Brainstorm key words the describe the strengths you can see in yourself, if you like you can also name the sources of these strengths if they are external, it’s good to know the source of your power.
  • Ask close friends and family to give you 3 words that describe you as a person. Other people will have more of an objective perspective than you will. Collect this information you will be surprised how the world sees you.

Then search for your power:

One of the best ways to learn about your power is to recognise someone else’s power. When we learn to appreciate other people for their unique talents, we also increase our own personal power as well as acknowledging the personal power of others.  

Find someone you can interview. Take five minutes to ask each other these questions (with a timer):

  • What makes your truly happy?
  • What are your core personal values?
  • What have you done in your life that you are most proud of?
  • What is the thing that you are second most proud of?
  • What empowers you?
  • How do you describe your powerful self

Now read the other person’s answers to them. It is amazing that when we hear our own thoughts aloud how differently we perceive them. Reverse the process and listen to your own answers. It is amazing when we look how uniquely fantastic we truly are.

Affirm your power

It is not simply enough to know we are powerful we also need to be reminded that we are powerful, especially when the world seems a little too dark or difficult. Now look at all the research of you have collected about you and use this to write yourself a letter acknowledging your power and telling yourself how proud you are of yourself.

In this process you will begin to accept yourself  as you are – not the negative voice that tells you you are worthless, you can’t, that you will be well when. Look at the person you have found yourself to be today. THis person is strong, has individual talents and gifts, has survived and learnt and most importantly is consciously choosing to change their life and create and follow dreams. This person needs to be honoured.

However that can be challenging to do in the darker times when you are tired, alone or just having a crappy day. How do you then remember that person? You need to become your own life coach and fan club!

In every team be it sales, football, theatre the  leader or coach will often give pep talks to his or her team. Compliments and belief boost our confidence and remind us how competent we are.

You are your own team. SO you need to become your coach and give yourself a pep talk. Affirmations are one way to do this but they can be hard to do. Writing and reading your own pep talk is the simplest and most effective way of doing this. When we write and put conscious effort into creating it becomes more believable. Rereading your writing your words makes them believable.

Create your pep talk

Begin your pep talk by introducing you to yourself, here is mine for some inspiration:

Emma, this is Emma.

Emma is a wonderful person. She connects with people and is loved by both adults and children. Her colleagues respect her and admire the effort and hardwork Emma puts into her job. Emma makes her class feel safe and her colleagues feel happier. She is a rolemodel to her children and to some of her colleagues.

Emma inspires people and helps them with their lives. People know she is clever. She knows she is clever. Emma is organised, motivated and focused on her life goals. SHe brings people back to living with nature, to appreciating the world around them. Emma achieves all of her goals and succeed. Emma succeeds.

Abundance comes easily and readily into Emma’s life. She is good at saving and keeping to a budget. Emma is wealthy. Emma is wealthy financially, in her friends and in her experiences.

Emma loves the world around her and is loved in her life. Emma has had adventures that no-one else has had. Emma is  living an exciting life, learning everyday. Emma’s experiences have shaped her into a unique, wise person.  

Emma has left legacies behind in her life already and will continue to do so.

Emma accepts, loves and respects herself and can be, do or have anything she wants. Emma lives in the now, she appreciates life and radiates abundance and appreciation in every aspect of her being. Emma can do and achieve anything she wants to achieve. Emma can live however she wants to live. Emma can be anything she wants to be.

Emma is a wonderful, amazing and beautiful person.

Emma fulfills her dreams.

Emma is fantastic.

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Have fun this week finding out your power and making your pep talk- remember you are your best coach and support so boost your own power by a little self recognition!

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#lifelessons101- All work and no play makes jack a dull boy (2 min read)

I am a workaholic. I am. I love to be busy, creating, manifesting. The summer holidays is looming and this year Mr T and I have chosen to spend a few weeks of it at home. Two weeks at home, with no work. My mind was racing, what the heck am I going to do? How do people fill their time with nothing. To me this is an alien concept. As I work from home, means that if I sit down for five minutes I can find something that needs doing. it’s never ending. Do you know the feeling?

And then recently I was watching a Ted Talk by Shonda Rimes, an extremely successful TV producer, screenwriter and author; talking about saying yes to everything and it struck me that in all of this work I am starting to miss out on all the important things that make life worth living.

In Shonda’s talk she calls the buzz of life “The hum”. That feeling of being in the moment when we are creating and everything is flowing. It is a feeling I am lucky enough to know well. I get it whenever I am working with a client or running a workshop. The “hum” is that feeling when everything is all good, when you strive for greatness. The “hum” is your joy. It’s addictive and never ending. It can take over everything.

However according to Shonda when this feeling comes from work, this is the false “hum”. She talked about how one day her “hum” just stopped. After all we are only human and we cannot run on work alone. What happens when you stop. What are you when your “hum” stops? For Shonda she found a new hum. Not in new projects or business. She found her new “hum” in playing with her children. In the peace and simplicity of taking 15 minutes to play.

Play is the opposite of work. The old saying “All work and no play makes jack a dull boy” is true. The hum is not work specific. It joy specific. And in play we can find joy. I mean why do we ever stop playing? Playing is a place where life feels good. In a way it is a place of zen. A place for us to find our “hum” our essential self. Work is not a place which makes us who we are. When we do nothing but work we become dull. When we play, find the place where we can find our joy we shine. And I can hear your work driven brain saying “yeah, yeah but where do I find the time?” you don’t need a lot of time. 15 minutes a day to play with your kids, read a book do whatever it is that makes you you. 15 uninterrupted unadulterated minutes where all those things that need doing just slip away and the world is briefly you own and full of your joy.

Taking 15 mins a day to play, to experience joy is freeing. It releases us from the guilt of workaholica. It rejuvenates, re energises and inspires you. And giving yourself this time to breath, to be actually improves your working life. The more in touch with ourselves we are, the more grounded and stronger we become. That benefits every aspect of our lives personal, public and professional. I have now spent some time trying out this tehory and believe me it works. what I love about it is that it works for everyone. Each and everyone of us has 15 minutes we can use on our joy in our day. And when we dedicate time to our joy it is here we find our true “hum”. The true point in life where everything is flowing, in fact where everything flows from.   

To be honest these days workaholica is considered a socially acceptable way of getting ahead in the world. But so is being grounded, knowing who we are and being strongly, authentically ourselves. Taking 15 minutes a day for you and your joy Saying yes to our own joy and making that important gives us the opportunity to be authentically who we are, to become grounded in ourselves and know what our “hum” is, is in fact an important part of being a workaholic and making our way ahead in the world. After all who really wants to be dull anyway

Try it. This weekend. Connect with your joy. Put your social media, friends birthday party, house cleaning or essay writing on hold and take 15 minutes to make you happy and find your hum…

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3 steps to creating a powerful life . Part 1 Take responsibility for your life (4 min read)

It is amazing how many people today feel powerless in their own lives. Which is ironic because truly the only thing we have power over in our lives is, well us and how we shape that life. So many of us would rather blame someone else or just accept that ‘that’s they way things are’ than claim our power and shape our lives. And at the same as lying back and accepting things we like to complain about it, we are actually really good at that. And again the irony is that if we took half of the energy we use on complaining and directed it towards living a powerful life how much happier we would all be.

Living powerfully is the key to achieving your dreams not just keeping them as wouldn’t that be lover’ly wishes. YOU have within YOU the power to create your world. When you begin to live your life acknowledging your own power, your own strength you find freedom in life. It’s up to you to make that choice and decided how you want your life to be.

And you can do it. In fact you were born to be a powerful person and create a powerful life. Don’t believe me well think about this. The fact that you were born here and now, where you are, your DNA, who are your parents is by a 1 in 400 trillion chance. And you made it to here and now to being you. That is one of the most powerful things possible. You owe to yourself to live a powerful life and make the most of the opportunity you’ve u got to be you.

But how? Well there are three simple steps to living a powerful life.

  • Take responsibility for your life
  • Acknowledge your power
  • Actively live a powerful life

 

Over the next three weeks I will be posting about each of these steps so that you can manifest your powerful life

So the first step is to know that you create your reality:You-create-your-own-reality.__quotes-by-Jane-Roberts-68.png

This is the hardest concept to take in, however the day you begin to live this truth and take conscious control of your thoughts is the day you declare your freedom and begin your mastery of life.

 

It’s also the day you cease to be a victim.

 

James Redfield in his enlightening book the Celestine prophecies (Which if you haven’t read I highly HIGHLY recommend it) named 4 control  dramas. “The sixth insight states that childhood dramas block our ability to fully experience the mystical. All humans, because of their upbringing, tend toward one of the four “control dramas”: intimidators steal energy from others by threat. Interrogators steal it by judging and questioning. Aloof people attract attention (and energy) to themselves by acting reserved or withdrawing. And poor me’s make us feel guilty and responsible for them.”

A whole book could be built around this teaching so here we are going to focus on the one I know affects most people in society today – the poor me, the victim.

Why does this always happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? Why can’t I have, get, do…… you did this to me, it’s your fault that I feel so bad.  Sound familiar? We all do it. Even when you are consciously aware of it this behavioural pattern is so easy to fall into. However it’s not real. Life didn’t do this to you, your partner didn’t make you feel bad. Every situation in your life you have chosen and created. I was so mad the first time I heard this. I was angry. I didn’t create it that I grew up in discord and sometimes violence, or that I ended up living on the streets, or that I developed diabetes! How could anyone say that! I believed that all of these things happened to me, that I was the victim.

However it’s true. I did create these things. I did choose my path, I choose my rection and I am responsible for the consequences of those actions and my intentions, conscious or unconscious. It may seem unbelievable however I realised that even my diabetes I had called into my own life by the abuse I gave my body. I was unable to accept the sweetness in life because I didn’t believe that I deserved it.   Once I acknowledge I created my illness I could also begin to take responsibility to take care of myself and honour myself, thus I became powerful.

In taking responsibility for my choices I stepped out of the poor me role with the realisation that I can create my world, my life and my path.  If I had continued down that path playing the it’s unfair to poor little me role I wouldn’t be here today. As long as you think that how your reality turns out is due to someone or something else, you are still not taking 100% responsibility for the fact that YOU create your own life. If you don’t realise this You will remain in the victim role, and nothing changes that way. Victims have no power to do anything, for that is the belief they operate from. You can only change yourself, and to do that one must move into the role of Creator rather than victim. To be a clear, functional, healthy human being, always bring what is happening in your life back to you, especially whenever you think it’s about someone or something else or that it’s someone else’s fault or the universe getting at you . In that way your life operates without blame or victimization or abuse.

You have control of only one thing in your life you and your perspective. Remember,

IT’S NEVER ABOUT ANOTHER PERSON, PLACE, OR THING. IT’S ENTIRELY UP TO YOU.

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There are many many ways to understand this concept. Don’t worry if you don’t get it all at once I didn’t.

 

One way is to think of it as that everything in this world, our human world; starts with intention. Nothing happens without intention. Everything you can see started with an idea and intention.  Your intention can create your experiences. Everything happens inside us, every experience you create. It is all of our intention, our desires that creates this workshop. I had the intention I wanted to share my learnings, you guys had an intention that you wanted to get in touch with nature, yourselves and your life. THe energy we put into the processes the work we do here and how we react to the lessons we learn creates this experiences, as do the choices we make when we leave this space.

Another way is to look at like this – you are like a computer. The computer depends upon what you type into it, and that determines what it will print out, correct? It’s the same with your life. Whatever you type into yourself – that is, whatever perceptions or beliefs YOU have put inside you, or, “programmed into your computer” – that is what will get printed out and become your life. This print out is like a script available for other people to read. They read it, and simply respond to what you have typed out, to YOUR print out.

For instance, if what you have typed into your computer is: “Oh. I’m selfish. That means I’m a bad person.” Someone will read this in your print out (your energy field) and you will create them probably saying something like this to you: “You are so selfish!! Why don’t you ever think of me? Why don’t you make me happy?!” When you change what you type into yourself, when you change the energy that is in your energy field, when you change the thoughts and beliefs and emotions that you carry around, your printout will be different. Then everyone will read that new print out and respond to it.

Remember if you CAN create the bad you CAN create the good. Dreams, words, actions and choice beget reality, you are the architect of your life.

Live your life taking responsibility for yourself and you will live your life powerfully.

Accept where you are and how you got there:

So in accepting responsibility for your life you have to accept responsibility for your past. You have to accept your previous actions :You may have made what you consider to be bad choices but these are the choices you made. You have to accept and let go of that past. IF you don’t accept you and your choices, how the heck is anyone else supposed to? So make peace with the you of your past. Tell yourself that you did your best and accept that whatever you did you did. A great way to accept an incident is to try the why did I create this exercise

‘Why did I create this?’ exercise:

Think back to something that has happened in your life. Not a good situation, not the worst experience you have ever had however choose a not great situation.

1.Write a short sentence explaining  what happened.

2.Now write why and how this happened to you, whose fault you thought it was.

Now we are going to look at your responsibility in this situation: Why and how did you create this event?

3.Write down in a  list the actions you took in this situation.

  • What choices did you make?
  • What was the outcome of these choices.

4.Now write what happened in your life after this event

  • Why was this event necessary in your life?
  • Where did it lead you to?
  1. Look again at your first description of why and how- do you agree with your first reaction or can you now see your role in this?

By looking at how you created a situation you give yourselves an opportunity to learn. Learning empowers you to grow and evolve.

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This week take the opportunity to observe how you create you life. Don’t judge just notice. By first taking the time to see how you make your world you will then see the opportunities to remake it in a more powerful way. Come back on monday to find out more about creating your powerful life by Acknowledging your power in part 2.

Have a wonderful powerful week 🙂you are the architect of your life.jpg