Asking for help. Often not the easiest thing in the world I know. As I have been unpacking our new home, I have found it really difficult to ask Mr T for help. Exhausted and fed up I finally broke down. To which the confused and consoling Mr T said “why didn’t you just ask me for help?” And as usual he was right. Wherever I look around me at this time of year I see farmers cutting down the corn, busy day and night pulling in the harvest. I am amazed by their energy and efforts and often forget they can’t do it alone. We all need help. Humans are pack animals and a pack is there to support us.
But how to ask for help? Well once I remembered it was ok to ask for help I remembered that actually it’s not too difficult when you follow some simple steps. Whether it be for the little things, or the big situations in life, the same steps can be applied.
Swallow your pride.
Asking for help means acknowledging that you are not perfect. Accept it and know that it’s ok. We all have different talents strengths and weakness. We are designed to work together. Plus if we were all good at the same things life would be very boring.
Work out what you need help with.
You need to know exactly what it is you want help with. Identify the problem and what it is that you find difficult. There is no point in asking for help if you don’t know why you are asking. And often people want to help you, but in the way they want to help, not in the way you need. Which believe me does not work. It might be that you need help to figure out what you need help with. That’s ok, so ASK!
Choose the right person.
So who is the right person for the job? Once when living alone I sprained both of my ankles at the same time. (I know genius right!) My house was getting dirty and I couldn’t clean it. At the same time lived 3 stories high and couldn’t get my shopping upstairs. Asking for help with the shopping was easy, I asked a neighbour. But when it came to the cleaning I didn’t actually think about if it was the right person to help, I took the easiest, quickest option. Needless to say my kind and well meaning friend, who was unable to clean, came rushing in helped for 30 mins and then rushed out again. Leaving me with a half finished job and a lot of frustration. Get the right person for the job, it saves time and frustration.
It kinda goes without saying really but being thankful for the help. Whether it’s from a stranger or a friend, thanks goes along way to making them feel good. Remember when you ask for help you make people feel needed. In the case of the unpacking and Mr T I was actually making him feel unnecessary by not asking for his help. By asking for help he felt needed and it became a positive experience for us both. (The addition of Nerf guns also help A LOT!) So recognise the other person’s enjoyment in helping you and be grateful.
Pay it forward.
Once you have had help you can pay it forward. It may be that the person who helped you doesn’t need your help, someone else will. So pay forward the kindness shown to you by someone else and glow in the joy of helping them.
Asking for help brings rewards to many people not just you. And remember once you have asked for help,it’s ok to ask for help again if it’s needed. Many hands do make ligth work. We humans need a support network, as much as a forestś do, to sustain us. If you have trouble asking for help watch this video below and see how a forest shares it’s nutrients, which increases survival of the younger trees. A reminder that in the natural world life is a shared experience and as we are part of that world, life is better when we share it with others.